tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77356678068642379242024-02-03T23:28:02.763+08:00The Frivolity of A WannabeI'm with the Vampires, of course!larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.comBlogger548125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-89796421387663593882022-11-11T22:22:00.001+08:002022-11-11T22:22:19.407+08:0011.11.22<p>I just wanted to document on this auspicious date that I kicked-off my small business today. I registered the company in September for another project that is still in its planning stage, but since there was an opportunity to do something else now - something I like doing, too - why not?</p><p>Here's to more business deals and opportunities. Maybe this will help me live my dreams :)</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYWg8JN3MnSjASxaW5t55Ul0JVom3y1q62r1fj0O2Jqt1vs6G6uV0u9LvyfYMoEF8CjSLdeOkxN6iG3QNo44ULPeDvaJN_aI-bJ34w6DkGpTirMnqy8RjUFb5oTM1By7hycpmY5MTkPTjvaO8gdEkO5QXM3OOOMKLKPZTZtadg1jU3LqOB2q4N6fx/s4095/digital_nomad.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2730" data-original-width="4095" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYWg8JN3MnSjASxaW5t55Ul0JVom3y1q62r1fj0O2Jqt1vs6G6uV0u9LvyfYMoEF8CjSLdeOkxN6iG3QNo44ULPeDvaJN_aI-bJ34w6DkGpTirMnqy8RjUFb5oTM1By7hycpmY5MTkPTjvaO8gdEkO5QXM3OOOMKLKPZTZtadg1jU3LqOB2q4N6fx/s320/digital_nomad.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>xoxo</p><p><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-79210286358838843972021-03-22T10:46:00.001+08:002021-03-22T10:46:09.110+08:00So many candles for such a small cake?<p>I celebrated my birthday 4 days ago. I wanted to blog on that day but I was down with the cold. It was bizarre to have to think if you should get yourself swabbed on the morning of your birthday and the <a href="https://larawannabe.blogspot.com/2020/03/day-1-of-movement-control-order.html" target="_blank">anniversary of MCO</a>. </p><p><br /></p><p>This year, my closest friends from 2 different circle have decided to celebrate my birthday early. This is going to be my "<i>pantang</i>" from now on because after I've started to show symptoms of covid-19 2 days before my birthday, I wondered how ironic it would be if I die before I could even celebrate it. Morbid, I know, but it is possible, right? Tomorrow is not promised to you.</p><p><br /></p><p>Anyway, I did call the PKD for advice and since I have not been to any places or in close contact with a positive person, I can treat it as a common cold and STAY AT HOME. So, that's what I did. I shall quarantine myself for 10 days.</p><p><br /></p><p>I have recovered, just the cough is still present. </p><p><br /></p><p>I am grateful and feeling very blessed to have good friends that celebrated my birthday with me, receiving wonderful wishes and even a cake delivered to me from my friends and family on that day.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thank you!</p><p><br /></p><p>xoxo</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>#birthdayblog #blessed #fckcorona</p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-43498978292606514742021-02-28T18:08:00.003+08:002021-02-28T18:08:58.338+08:00But I thought that we were starting over<p>Last month, I didn't realised I posted twice. I was very impressed with myself, thought I will do the same in February, too. But alas, a lot of it was written in my head, as is often the case.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQSy8dEh8ZqyVduQ_NV1gawcSHqX1gTYf5K9QOjn2ekvd9ZvqMmwSMWxwM-RgOgbj4QQRWMQbY5Zzrqc4zfPrduZ_V9-_EexqxGOHk9nF14uJI8i6BuLqsM78ABohKdQU3gCAFACIIpT8/s2048/sun-G3W486T.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQSy8dEh8ZqyVduQ_NV1gawcSHqX1gTYf5K9QOjn2ekvd9ZvqMmwSMWxwM-RgOgbj4QQRWMQbY5Zzrqc4zfPrduZ_V9-_EexqxGOHk9nF14uJI8i6BuLqsM78ABohKdQU3gCAFACIIpT8/s320/sun-G3W486T.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>In November last year, <a href="https://larawannabe.blogspot.com/2020/11/theres-unknown-number-on-my-phone.html" target="_blank">I wrote about getting enough sleep to heal my body</a>. I am happy to report, on average, I get a good 7 hours sleep. I don't think I will be able to achieve this without help from the sun.</p><p><br /></p><p>I've also learned about the benefit of vitamin D that you get from the sun. I have been following a group of people who calls themselves "Kultus Matahari" to learn more about it. Getting a good sleep and enriching yourself with vitamin D for good health is interrelated. </p><p><br /></p><p>No, they're not a cult. I think the name was used as a way to poke fun at those who dismissed them without getting to know the science behind it. I got to know about it when one of the lady I followed on Twitter posted stuff about sunning, resetting your circadian rhythm, leptin and reversing your insulin resistance. I was intrigued and read more about it.</p><p><br /></p><p>I can't quite remember when I started, but I've been getting my sunrise and morning sun, as well as afternoon sun and sunset as often as I can. I haven't tried sunning at noon yet since you have to give it sometime to build your sun callus. Maybe I'll try it after my birthday :)</p><p><br /></p><p>Yes, all of this without using sunscreen. Hence, building your sun callus.</p><p><br /></p><p>Since I started, I'd wake up automatically at sunrise without needing the alarm. I still need to read on how to and what is leptin reset, though. From first reading, I find it tedious. LOL. I am currently looking at how to follow the GAP diet. I believe this is easy because it is what I eat on the daily.</p><p><br /></p><p>I do believe fixing my body clock is the key for a healthier body and way of life. I shall try my best to improve. May Allah grant his blessing on my effort.</p><p><br /></p><p>Aamiin.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>#kultusmatahari #circadianrhtyhm #leptinreset #GAPdiet #livinghealthy</p><p><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-28408412904335409142021-01-31T20:36:00.004+08:002021-01-31T20:40:16.831+08:00Ce n’est pas la mer à boire<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEs7oELvRRJquYWskvoGF4da0VVBOxQe4Cf6HM5e9inY5qIaikLF9ZvQWsB_BezlAo6f42OylUUYR8sjif27pl0u5yt51hqyuIEZc4gcL44HnWUBb9gyn5MEopI-J3O_FaNkwb8m_2KE/s1800/02EMILY-REAX-1-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Emily in Paris" border="0" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEs7oELvRRJquYWskvoGF4da0VVBOxQe4Cf6HM5e9inY5qIaikLF9ZvQWsB_BezlAo6f42OylUUYR8sjif27pl0u5yt51hqyuIEZc4gcL44HnWUBb9gyn5MEopI-J3O_FaNkwb8m_2KE/w320-h320/02EMILY-REAX-1-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Guess what? 😆<p></p><p><br /></p><p>I've enrolled myself for French lessons. Hahahaha. It was for Ms M but I thought, since the fee is reasonable, I'd join too. At least, we can practice together. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p>The classes are conducted online via zoom. There are 8 students in a class. Part 1 is for 20 hours. At the end of Part 2 (another 20 hours), you can sit for DELF A1 if you want.</p><p><br /></p><p>Right now, my problem is that I keep thinking in Korean. It is a bizarre problem to have. Not like I'm that fluent in Korean either. But I kept wanting to say things in Korean instead of French 😩</p><p><br /></p><p>About the other things I ranted about before and my goals for 2021, I'm trying my best to check the habit boxes. There are times when I just feel meh and not wanting to do anything (like today), but I've been diligent enough to do whatever I can this whole week.</p><p><br /></p><p>Like correcting my circadian rhythm. I try to get in bed by 11PM and usually, I'll dozed off by 12AM. Next day, I'd wake up around 6:30AM; most of the time before my alarm. Not the 7 hours of sleep I wish to get, but it is better than before. Baby steps lah.</p><p><br /></p><p>I also been getting some sun for vitamin D. I will write more about this once I understand about it enough. Right now, I make sure to see the sunrise first thing in the morning and sunning for 15-30 minutes between 9AM to 10AM as well as watching the sunset. </p><p><br /></p><p>I bought this desk bike thingy at the start of this month. I wanted to invest in a stationary bike but I'm not sure if I'm diligent enough to use it frequently. I don't want to get something that big and obtrusive that I'll stop using in a few months (like, the folding bike, ehem!). So far, I've used it at least 5 times a week.</p><p><br /></p><p>My blood sugar reading is in control, too. Hopefully, I'll loose some weight before my doctor's appointment in March and my HbA1c reading will be good by then, too.</p><p><br /></p><p>Have a great February to the 11 people that reads my blog! 😊</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>#French #DELF #Korean #languages #diabetes #circadian</p><p><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-48421791387196353512021-01-17T22:46:00.005+08:002021-01-17T22:50:36.300+08:00Between a Rock and a Hard Place<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUyF9qt-O76U6y8N7l6un36cuTAvXg3vYY74FlzBXwoMgHJa5vNw0UrRql6KJ0TlOoCP5ykSRfZdFdCm_Qi5iKLJ4A_-UAAG49AJ34XfzkYZtgJ1QIAaRirMe5gi78Mnlm7jMlR9wjj0g/s500/baraahp.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="288" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUyF9qt-O76U6y8N7l6un36cuTAvXg3vYY74FlzBXwoMgHJa5vNw0UrRql6KJ0TlOoCP5ykSRfZdFdCm_Qi5iKLJ4A_-UAAG49AJ34XfzkYZtgJ1QIAaRirMe5gi78Mnlm7jMlR9wjj0g/s320/baraahp.gif" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p>We are under the MCO again. I can't even remember when it started right now because it seems like it never stopped? I mean, since the cases started to rise again (the positive cases are in the thousands now!), I've been mostly working from home and staying at home diligently. </p><p><br /></p><p>(Ok, I've checked - MCO since 13 January and to end in 9 days, but who are we kidding?)</p><p><br /></p><p>However, this MCO ain't like the previous MCO. Businesses are allowed to operate. Even though the government said only essentials are allowed to operate, we're seeing other non-essential businesses opening. But at the same time, we're asked to stay home. It's like BAU but not really. </p><p><br /></p><p>Frankly, I can't predict where I'll be in the next 2-3 months. I've things to do for work, but the places I've to go to are outside of my 10km radius. My consultant is in a limbo. And so far, we do not see anything in the pipeline because the economy is volatile and companies aren't really hiring (but the gomen said BAU?).</p><p><br /></p><p>Inasmuch as I understand how the country's economy has to move for everyone's survival, and how we have to try to live our lives as normal as we can within the SOP; I am afraid of the virus, too. The fact that there is no cure is scary. I have underlying health conditions, thus my risk for it to become severe is high. </p><p><br /></p><p>But I have commitments y'all. If we don't have sales, eventually we won't be able to pay salaries.</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm trying to be as calm as possible, but the current situation is giving me anxiety, really.</p><p><br /></p><p>When will this end? (An acquaintance predicted it'll be by April 2022...)</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-34891441597350861822020-12-31T19:54:00.009+08:002020-12-31T19:59:58.487+08:002021 New Year's Eve<p>While we wait for Big Hit Labels' 2021 New Year's Eve Live to start, let me write a letter to myself...</p><p><br /></p><p>Dear self,</p><p><br /></p><p>WTF? I know 2020 has been a ridiculous year but it doesn't mean you have to behave this way. You were doing so well getting yourself together but from mid 2019 to now, you seemed lost. Buck up lah! Please!</p><p><br /></p><p>For 2021, be more focused on your goals. Don't mind the social media so much. Twitter will still be there, you don't have to watch all the YouTube videos at once, you don't have to read all the fanfic in one sitting. These things? You can do it as a way to relax after your hard work. Not for you to procrastinate. Not for you to lose sleep over it.</p><p><br /></p><p>Procrastination ain't cool. OK?</p><p><br /></p><p>Firstly, complete that one paper that's been pending for a whole year. Don't you want to graduate? After all these years?? Come on! You just need to focus on this paper for a week to complete it and then you're done. DONE. You can graduate, and you can move on. Maybe you can find a better job, with better pay and benefits.</p><p><br /></p><p>Secondly, focus on your health. Just abandon all those food that are unhealthy. No more cheat days. Cheat days turns into cheat week. Cheat week turns into cheat month. You need to lose weight. You have to lose 10kg before your next appointment in March. You have to take control of your blood sugar reading. </p><p><br /></p><p>You said you wanted to start this month... what happened? You only tried for 2 days and then you abandoned it. You make excuses. Raining lah, holiday lah, start tomorrow lah. No more, please. It isn't that hard if you're serious about it.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thirdly, focus on your future plans. Remember all those things you wanted to do before you turn 50. You have dreams, right? Manifest them. Push to achieve them. Don't just membebel to your daughter for her to work hard on her dreams, but you don't even follow your own advise. Do as you say. Lead by example. </p><p><br /></p><p>Sigh.</p><p><br /></p><p>Here's to a brighter 2021. I know it's been tough seeing those things that were promised to you didn't come to fruition this year. You have to accept that they're not your rezeki. Let it go. Allah knows what's best for you. If it is meant for you, you'll get it eventually. But no more waiting on it, ok. Just stop. </p><p><br /></p><p>Do your best, and trust in Allah. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Yours truthfully,</p><p>~me</p><p><br /></p><p>AND TO ALL THOSE WHO STUMBLED UPON THIS BLOG POST:</p><p><img alt="Happy New Year 2021: Wishes, Greetings, Messages, Images, Pics To Share" id="story_image_main" src="https://c.ndtvimg.com/2020-12/bltre37g_happy-new-year-2021-new-year-images-2021-pics_625x300_31_December_20.jpg" title="Happy New Year 2021: Wishes, Greetings, Messages, Images, Pics To Share" /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>#notetoself #2021newyearseve</p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-50793640637775399352020-11-30T22:47:00.004+08:002020-11-30T23:06:21.344+08:00There's an unknown number on my phone<p>A friend shared on her FB that she's suffering from non-Hodgkin lymphoma cancer recently. She's undergoing chemotherapy right now. I shall keep her in my thoughts and prayers. Please pray for her well-being, too. (Thank you, xoxo)</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br /></div><p>I desperately need to lose weight. I managed to lose 2kg two months ago, but I have since gained it back (without much effort, unlike when I try to shed them off -_-). Sometime I feel like giving up. Because it's too hard. But then, I will constantly worry about my heart and blood sugar level. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJjzeG3DvWV9YeYpRePu5avI-22tAhbK_0YCxGLY0BZGI3xUujBb2K3pARhutCTca7HPJfzDx-0fjHT1i7JUw7CQlh_GD5lnjMU5HSt8AV7auriT5TBsG2o63auxsHgsCpeLaqGTXPG7U/s1000/keshi.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJjzeG3DvWV9YeYpRePu5avI-22tAhbK_0YCxGLY0BZGI3xUujBb2K3pARhutCTca7HPJfzDx-0fjHT1i7JUw7CQlh_GD5lnjMU5HSt8AV7auriT5TBsG2o63auxsHgsCpeLaqGTXPG7U/s320/keshi.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p>This is all so stressful, I tell ya.</p><p>Recently, I came across an article on how sleep can also help you lose weight. It's not enough to just mind what you eat and exercise; sleep is important too. So, I've been monitoring my sleep now. I know I sleep less - like 4 to 5 hours max daily. I want to try to get at least 7 hours of sleep (the goal is 8 hours). So far, I managed to get 6+ hours of sleep for the past 7 days.</p><p>The thing is, in order to get enough sleep, I have to be in bed early. It is a feat because my usual bedtime is at midnight. Hahaha. I've been using the sleep app to remind me to get to bed early. I've been diligently getting to bed early with the app and my Apple Watch.</p><p>And, since I can't take walks in the afternoon due to the rainy season now, I will get it done in the morning. Starting tomorrow. After Subuh prayers, I'll go for a walk at the playground nearby. </p><p>Here's to a more fruitful December.</p><p>This blog entry title is a line from Keshi's Blue lyrics. I was first introduced to one of his song called "Summer" a few months back. I love that song, very much. However, I dropped that song from my playlist since September but found his other song from someone else's playlist last week. Decided to check his profile out and -bam!- fell in love with all his other songs. I listen to them all the time now. You should check him out, too.</p><p>Stay safe, everyone.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>#healthgoals #managingweightgain #keshi </p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-32501423477896160892020-10-24T18:40:00.000+08:002020-10-24T18:40:15.026+08:00A little 'bonjour' goes a long way<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2T_cb6Ce9FJMgCgfx8-JSSeMz082j6BrLDK9e_OZsAaS1zy6aNv_DVPvUlqiPLhh6ZTuoQTGuleyifa0ntqWTKXP5AdivHM278VRm1OMEtBZ5sAQebJrkYQvefq6lSFK6oxr8WGKtvIY/s2048/EFF5FFFD-06F0-459A-BC6F-AA5C6024DCC0.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2T_cb6Ce9FJMgCgfx8-JSSeMz082j6BrLDK9e_OZsAaS1zy6aNv_DVPvUlqiPLhh6ZTuoQTGuleyifa0ntqWTKXP5AdivHM278VRm1OMEtBZ5sAQebJrkYQvefq6lSFK6oxr8WGKtvIY/s320/EFF5FFFD-06F0-459A-BC6F-AA5C6024DCC0.heic" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Before</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOcwQjmGT9LIBxe5PpvG-VmiE4CU46ExHddykYqlZOhv9je1Dq_O15CfIlkQXiKMngGxcmZitacWf1eQGdeZbMPBRZM9FmBhY1ez4bCE7p6fb8ZoE9W5tkynBCgmxFSL15dv0yGgY0sc/s2048/F8EC1D9A-13A4-47F4-8B85-D002FF67BDE6.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOcwQjmGT9LIBxe5PpvG-VmiE4CU46ExHddykYqlZOhv9je1Dq_O15CfIlkQXiKMngGxcmZitacWf1eQGdeZbMPBRZM9FmBhY1ez4bCE7p6fb8ZoE9W5tkynBCgmxFSL15dv0yGgY0sc/s320/F8EC1D9A-13A4-47F4-8B85-D002FF67BDE6.heic" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After</div><br /><br /><p></p><div>I did it! A week after <a href="https://larawannabe.blogspot.com/2020/09/lord-give-me-strength-not-to-bitch-slap.html" target="_blank">my last post</a>, I cleaned up my table. It's a bit more organised now.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been meaning to write another entry to post two weeks ago. Next thing I know, a month has passed. LOL.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are 11 days into the 2nd CMCO now. Since after the Sabah state election, Covid-19 cases have been arising, majorly in Sabah, Kuala Lumpur, Selangor & Putrajaya. This CMCO Part Deux is for 14 days, started from the 14th of this month. However, looking at the current situation, I think it'll be extended for at least another 2 weeks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sigh.</div><div><br /></div><div>We're just starting to have some normalcy in our lives. </div><div><br /></div><div>Have you watched "Emily in Paris", yet? The show reminded me of Sex and the City - they were created by the same person: Darren Star. I watched it while tolerating the clichéd portrayals of the characters. I am entertained though. I practically binge watched it over 3 days.</div><div><br /></div><div>This morning, I was in a workshop over Zoom. It was on how to create your personal brand on LinkedIn. I really enjoyed it and hoping to find other workshops like these in the future for self development. It wasn't that expensive too.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am relieved to note that upon searching my name, my socials are not listed under the search results. My conscious decision to separate my RL and online identity from the start seems to be working. At least, at a glance. Heh.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm trying to figuring out my career path. Been thinking how do I move forward, where do I go from here, what am I good at? I am one paper away from graduating with a degree in HRM. However, my passion in HR has dwindled. I no longer wants to be a HR practitioner. I want to do something that I enjoy, that doesn't feel like a chore; and one that I can still do even when I retire. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have garnered many skills throughout my career and since I am very hands-on, I am not shy to learn new things. But, this is making me a "Jack of all trades, master of none".</div><div><br /></div><div>Recently, I tried to apply for a position that matched my experience. Actually, I was recommended by a friend whom I've worked with previously. She saw my potential but alas... the company rejected me, saying my background is very administrative. I felt like all the good and big things I've done so far seemed worthless. </div><div><br /></div><div>So yes, I'm taking these 2-3 years to figure out how I want to position myself by the time I turned 50. I've purchased some courses on Udemy, and I want to work on my Korean language as well as French (since my daughter is learning this for IGCSE). </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>#LinkedIn #Udemy #Zoom #EmilyinParis #SexandtheCity</div><div> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-69145991091099834902020-09-19T16:45:00.001+08:002020-09-19T16:57:21.300+08:00Lord, give me the strength not to bitch slap this woman<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TzFRVk2ektI" width="320" youtube-src-id="TzFRVk2ektI"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p><p>Go on. Play the video embedded above before reading this post. I'll wait... </p><p><br /></p><p>Before that, today's blog title is a quote from JD Robb's Eve Dallas. And it is about me. I want to bitch slap me for being a procrastinator extraordinaire. <span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">진짜!</span></p><p><br /></p><p>The song is from Max called Blueberry Eyes. I like the beat. My daughter introduced it to me. I'm not surprised since BTS Suga has a feature in it. Do you know BTS? My daughter is an ARMY. And through her, I'm becoming one too LOL.</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm glad we can share each others' interests. Growing up, my parents weren't open enough to share my musical interest with me. They always finds them trivial. Hence, there was a disconnect. </p><p><br /></p><p>I wanted to blog about our recent trip to Perhentian Island, with pictures. I admit, I'm taking my time with it. I would also want to blog about our trip to Seoul late last year/early this year. We'll see when these will come about.</p><p><br /></p><p>My desk at home is very disorganised. It's this hugeass table from Ikea that I bought off someone else 10+ years ago (very handsome chap, I might add. A friend of a friend heh), I just couldn't get the layout to work for me.</p><p><br /></p><p>Also, what is the use of having the Books app in your Apple OS but you can't purchase any ebooks from the Book Store (because I am from Malaysia)? I want to buy some books, dammit! </p><p><br /></p><p>I found out JD Robb has published 61 books in the In Death series to date. I love that series. I collect them, although I kinda stopped for a while now (a while? HAH! A lot of years, more like). I thought of getting them in the ebook format, but decided to continue collecting the physical. Eventually...</p><p><br /></p><p>Speaking of, I want to buy a handful of Korean ebooks as well from Kyobo Book Centre. There are some very intriguing books I want to try to read. <b>Try</b>, because my Korean is still not there yet <i>lah</i>. But let's be honest. I have to start reading the ones I bought when I was in Seoul that are sitting prettily on the bookshelf first, ya... </p><p><br /></p><p>I'm being kept busy reading fan fiction online. I have a list. It's getting longer by day. </p><p><br /></p><p>Did I made it? Is the song finishing? I hope you've enjoyed it!</p><p><br /></p><p>Until the next. Fin. </p><p><br /></p><p>#BlueberryEyes #Max #Suga #BTS #Ikea #JDRobb #EveDallas #Updates</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-16002708912319146132020-08-08T12:36:00.002+08:002020-08-08T12:39:14.728+08:00When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8NxgKBMi52jODqY0z8QZ2McOMll2q-BB1IUrwvqClL2VSq7yXtMPiAvvAw7m3h4hXQGoptJ30uPLASJ5raeV5vq9qg4bLowMd3H1XiGn0AZ_Onlpm-D_NlLiCoVifd_gABXuREJ1n24/s800/HP1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px;"><img alt="Hermione is me" border="0" data-original-height="509" data-original-width="800" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8NxgKBMi52jODqY0z8QZ2McOMll2q-BB1IUrwvqClL2VSq7yXtMPiAvvAw7m3h4hXQGoptJ30uPLASJ5raeV5vq9qg4bLowMd3H1XiGn0AZ_Onlpm-D_NlLiCoVifd_gABXuREJ1n24/w400-h255/HP1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">I am Hermione</span><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>An incident happened recently. I must admit at first I was pissed and then hurt, but the more I think about it, it became an eye opener of sorts.<div><br /></div><div>I've managed to gather a few sets of friends. These people are those I met at a different times in my life. They're all dearest to me. They hardly mixed with each other and I'm ok with that.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, there is a set whom no matter how many times I tried to be generous with, they just don't seem to reciprocate? It's like they don't feel they're worthy to accept it. We've known each other for so long, I thought we've come to a point that we're best of friends. It's weird at first. But now I come to realise that maybe because it is something that they are not willing to give back in return.</div><div><br /></div><div>All that "Treat others how you want others to treat you" thing, you know? So if you don't want to give the same treatment to the other person, you don't feel nice or you don't want to accept the treatment that has been afforded to you. You get what I mean?</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not about to unfriend them #lulz But I shall keep my distance and will keep reminding myself that this set of friends is different. Nothing against them ya. Just to avoid getting hurt whenever I see that I've been excluded in certain things without my knowledge...</div><div><br /></div><div>And today, it happened again. I wonder if it is so hard to just share that little bit of detail with me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh well. Lesson learned (again).</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-57615158119383517542020-07-19T14:17:00.003+08:002020-07-21T17:48:49.060+08:00I am still with the Vampires...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizoVlmBcFfj5jsm_Qx2T_ts3wRreC53CdnlOwi54LWR26j_0WhFt8-h_e8WPqUgfkM9WK7POiHcgY8KwLsNd7-ZW1PrSHbFriGGplqV5eU0YDglYtXfUduXnSYGwshsEUvH_4E32t39Q0/s2048/IMG_3137.HEIC" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizoVlmBcFfj5jsm_Qx2T_ts3wRreC53CdnlOwi54LWR26j_0WhFt8-h_e8WPqUgfkM9WK7POiHcgY8KwLsNd7-ZW1PrSHbFriGGplqV5eU0YDglYtXfUduXnSYGwshsEUvH_4E32t39Q0/w240-h320/IMG_3137.HEIC" title="Durian D88" width="240" /></a></div>Actually, the blog title should be "Cravings or Addiction?", but I was checking out the blog theme and saw the blog's description. Yes, I am still #teamVampire 😄. <div><br /></div><div>I think the new title works well with what I want to write about, too.<div><br /></div><div>I've been thinking about this post for like 3 weeks. I have it all in my mind but I just don't know how to put it down on "paper". I'm out of practice. Words usually come more freely than this. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, if we're friends or if you follow my <a href="http://instagram.com/larawannabe" target="_blank">Instagram</a> (where I'm usually more active since I don't have to write much), you'd know that I am a diabetic type 2 patient. I also have prehypertension. These were detected when I went for a pre-surgery check up.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, did I tell you I suffered from anaemia for 5 years due to heavy period? Yeah, I had that and went for a hysterectomy in 2018 to take out the fibroid in my womb. On top of that, I had a minor breast surgery a few months after my hysterectomy since I found a growth in my left breast. Fibroadenoma is what's its called.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm all patched up now. My current problem is that I can't control my blood sugar. </div><div><br /></div><div>I tried, though. I've no problem eliminating sugared water or carbs food daily. Frankly, chocolate is my kryptonite. Whenever I don't eat any chocolates I tend to get this weird feeling at about 5 to 6PM. Like, all shaky with massive hunger pangs as if I've not eaten anything that day. At first, I thought maybe at that point of time, my blood sugar reading was low. Maybe I was hypo. I shared this concern with my doctor, but she wasn't convinced. She said I should fight it.</div><div><br /></div><div>At first, I felt slighted, like she doesn't take my problem seriously. But truthfully, I think if I were to test my blood sugar level at that time, it would be normal. The hunger will stop once I've eaten sweet stuffs. I can be taking crackers, fruits, nuts, but the feeling won't go away until I consume chocolates or cakes or ice creams. Yes, in plurals.</div><div><br /></div><div>I recently read a fan fiction where the writer made the hero an addict to alcohol and drugs. The way she wrote on his struggles gave me pause. I mean, the behaviour was similar. It just got me looking at it like maybe I am addicted to sugar/chocolate? Because normally, if I don't think about it much, I can get away with not consuming any artificial sugar at all.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, the story made me think -- is my body reacting that way because it lacks sugar or is it just craving for it? And when does a craving becomes an addiction? </div><div><br /></div><div>This is something that I have to overcome, really. It's rather ironic that I'm more concern about suffering from a heart attack but in reality my blood pressure reading is clean, my ECG is clear whereas my blood sugar reading is not that pretty. </div><div><br /></div><div>After my last follow up visit, my doctor really wants me to get things in order. The diabetic clinic has a scale -- white for when your HbA1c reading is below 6.5, green is when your reading is below 7, orange when it's above 7, etc. She said I was heading towards the white zone in 2018, but it shot up to orange in 2019 and now back to green. She gave me a long lecture on why I need to get my HbA1c down to white and maintain it because of my age. <i>Saya insaf, </i>ok.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have 3 months to do it right before my next follow up appointment. </div><div><br /></div><div>Good bye to all that are sweet in the world... :( </div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-8388214020524003542020-03-19T11:24:00.002+08:002020-03-19T11:24:38.689+08:00Day 1 of Movement Control OrderHello! How'ya doin? It's been awhile eh?<br />
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It is weird to think how things have escalated to where we are right now from the moment we landed in Malaysia after being away for nearly 2 weeks in Seoul. From some faraway situation, to a full blown pandemic! I feel like I'm caught in a whirlwind - that feeling of being in a crowd, being dragged to an unknown destination.<br />
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I am easily distracted nowadays and my thoughts are scattered. This blog post has been left opened for a day. I think I'll just type whatever comes to mind.<br />
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It is now Day 2 of our Movement Control Order.<br />
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Day 1 started on my birthday. I bought a small cake from the bakery in my office building yesterday, before heading home. Had a small celebration with my daughter at lunch. I did some work. By that, mostly I cleared up my study table, my cloud folders and my computer (since I can't add another Dropbox folder because there's not enough 'space').<br />
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We prepared frozen food for lunch (chicken chop from Nutriplus - not bad) and had cake for desserts. Ordered chicken rice through GrabFood for dinner. Watched some YouTube videos (should I get myself a Nintendo Switch? Is Animal Crossing really that fun?), read some fanfic, played with the cats, went to bed.<br />
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Today I'm going to do some office work, edit videos and maybe cook lunch.<br />
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I am more eloquent than this, I promise you. LOL. But this is all I have at the moment.<br />
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Until the next time. Stay safe, stay home.<br />
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xoxo<br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-3545308665385489682017-08-06T00:30:00.001+08:002017-08-06T00:30:32.308+08:00Blog template update 2017I changed the blog's theme today :)<div>
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That is all.</div>
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xoxo</div>
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-31899075989444051792017-08-05T12:15:00.002+08:002017-08-05T12:15:53.550+08:00Being happy in your skin that's what it's all aboutI don't know what it is -- it could be my spanking new pair of court shoes that make me walk in a certain confident way, or that I'm being sweet talked by virtual men in Mystic Messenger (LULZ!), or that I made a new male friend, but I feel contented and happy with my life right now, at this moment.<br />
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Even though, I also feel there is a huge dark cloud or a huge boulder hanging over my head that will fall on me any time now, I still feel good about myself.<br />
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It's a strange feeling - to be happy yet at the same time you feel apprehensive.<br />
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xoxo<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-16986216134102799852016-12-30T11:05:00.003+08:002016-12-30T11:05:50.555+08:00I stalk fictional charactersI love books. I became an avid reader since once of my closest cousin growing up (niece, really) introduced me to the wonderful world of Enid Blyton.<br />
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Speaking of, I dreamt of her a few days ago. We've not been in touch for years now, sadly. I hope she is well, if she still reads my blog. I miss you.<br />
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Anyway, I found fan-fiction by accident a couple of years ago. I was looking for online groups to join to read about Harry Potter theories. I love reading theories.<br />
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Sometimes you'll discover wonderfully written fan-fic by amateur writers. I'm glad that I found a few. One of my favourite is an HP fan-fic about vampires.<br />
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Sometimes the story can be intriguing but things like getting "you're" and "your" wrong irked me to no end. I just have to stop reading them.<br />
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And now, my fan-fic world has expanded to Wattpad. What fan-fic I am into now is a secret because I am embarrassed of my frivolity. LOL!<br />
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That is all.<br />
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xoxo<br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-53135117359535741032016-12-15T15:42:00.000+08:002016-12-15T15:42:26.726+08:00Because hope comes from in you, and wishes are just magic.I want a new job that I like and that pays me double of what I'm getting now.<br />
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I want to be healthy, stay healthy; basically I want my 20-year-old body back.<br />
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I want to fall in love again.<br />
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I want someone to take care of me because I am TIRED of taking care of myself.<br />
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xoxo<br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-55154606248217104252015-09-30T14:36:00.000+08:002015-09-30T14:36:15.741+08:00The night before exam is like a night before Christmas. You can't sleep, and yet hope for a miracle.UPSR 2016...<br />
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The exam format has been announced recently. I find this strange because didn't the MOE thought about this out when they first decide to introduce the KSSR syllabus back then? It should be thorough, right? Or this is just the way I think? ;-p<br />
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At least, they should have it firmed up and ready when the first batch started their Tahap 2 <i>lah kan</i>.<br />
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Anyhow, I don't foresee Mira getting any As, <i>inikan pulak</i> 6As. She might surprise me though, who knows. I'm not being a pessimist but I do know my daughter well enough. She doesn't give a rat's ass about school.<br />
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She may be dyslexic, but she is bright. And I'm not only saying this because she's my daughter. She has a talent to memorize things just by visual and by ear. However, she only applies her 'talent' on things she loves. Studies, unfortunately, is not one of them.<br />
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I have constructed a study plan for her finals. My hope is for her to at least pass her exams <i>lah.</i> We even discussed the hows and stuffs. I even give her a pep talk, just to keep her motivation high.<br />
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But here's the thing. If the plan is for her to study a subject for an hour a day, I find myself having to give her pep talks for 45 minutes out of the hour. Because within the first 10 minutes after we started, she'll become unhappy. The next 5 minutes, I will start to get agitated that I have to stop before I turned into the wicked stepmother.<br />
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How else can I help her see that SHE CAN do it? That she needs to find her own style of learning? I can help only so much. That she has the brains, that she is a bright girl, and that she's not stupid?<br />
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She can do it, you guys. Essay writing and maths is a different story <i>lah</i> but for the rest of the subjects I know she can score. But <i>tu lah</i>... the person herself doesn't believe she can. How?<br />
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That is all.<br />
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xoxo<br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-89552570035845578622015-06-16T15:10:00.000+08:002015-06-16T15:10:58.791+08:00Be Yourself and You will Increase in BeautyI wanted to blog about some progress (if you may call it that) in my work life, but... got sidetracked. Let's listen to this song instead. I'm obsessed with it!<br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FxRFOWQ4F6Q/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FxRFOWQ4F6Q?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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Kun Anta by Humood AlKhudher.</div>
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SERIOUSLY OBSESSED!<br />
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That is all.<br />
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xoxo<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-50796456310923084082015-04-29T10:54:00.001+08:002015-04-29T10:54:45.581+08:00We totally got out magicked in our own magic house. Unbelievable.I hate my job. But I'm with the most flexible company ever and I need to be flexible right now.<br />
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But I just hate it! I'm totally lost as how to make it successful. I have no interest in it, what-so-ever. Stress <i>wei</i>.<br />
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It would have been something I'd like to do 10 years ago. I think I'd be happy and excel in this job back then, when I'm so involved in managing a website and blogging and such. But social media has made me lazy. I hardly blog here as you can see because creating an entry needs to be thought out properly. <i>Ayat kena susun cantik2</i>, the sentences and paragraph must flow coherently and what not. It's not like, just typing a short 140 characters or post a photo that says it all.<br />
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I have to persevere for at least another few more years. Until Mira don't need me to be at her beck and call at least. Then, I'm going to go find another job that I like to do. Like, HR maybe :p<br />
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I need a holiday!<br />
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xoxo<br />
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Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-81860581553320234482014-05-22T11:51:00.002+08:002014-05-22T11:51:51.598+08:00We are from the planet Duplo, and we're here to destroy you.Ooooooh so excited! We're planning for a holiday at a secret location (sangat).<br />
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Air tickets<br />
- <i>checked!</i><br />
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New luggage bag (coz the ones we have are being used to store Arwah's clothes temporarily)<br />
- <i>kinda checked, borrowing Cin's and I'm going to collect it a couple of days before.</i><br />
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New swimsuit for me<br />
- <i>checked!</i> #Eh?<br />
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New camera<br />
- <i>perlu ke?? Probably not, but see lah...</i><br />
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Hotels and entry tickets<br />
- <i>booked!</i><br />
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Car rental<br />
- <i>booked!</i><br />
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Have I missed anything? I think I need a <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=sun+hat&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=HHR9U6maFcfs8AX-6YK4CQ&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=653" target="_blank">sun hat</a> and a new bottle of sunscreen.<br />
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We can sit and begin the countdown now.<br />
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That is all.<br />
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xoxo<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-89048728143757469522014-05-07T21:17:00.001+08:002014-05-07T21:17:49.790+08:00I made a choice, this is my path.The other day I took Mira to see The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It was awesome, I really enjoyed the movie. I liked Andrew Garfield's Spider-man/Peter Parker in comparison. He is rather snarky.<br />
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So yeah, I somewhat didn't see the number 2 at the back. Half way into the movie I realised I haven't watched the first movie. WTF. I shared this bit of trivia with Mira and guess what? She and her arwah Ayah has already watched it on Hypp-TV. No wonder la she's familiar with Gwen Stacy and their backstory. Haih.<br />
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The next day I bought the first movie on iTunes. Good thing it was on discount, too.<br />
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xoxo<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-79703225094015793602014-04-23T23:53:00.002+08:002014-04-23T23:53:42.321+08:00It's not right, but it's ok...At first, the thought of travelling all the way just because you wanted me to be there was a pain in the arse. Especially when I already have a task to complete in the office. But the meet today was rewarding. And quite telling.<br />
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What I suspected has been confirmed. Inasmuch as my pride was a little hurt, I thank God for showing me this.<br />
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It is not right, but I'll be ok. I hope you find peace in your future endeavours.<br />
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My take away from this is I want to learn to emulate your poise and grace in handling an audience.<br />
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- That is all -<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-86864726611366301912014-04-19T12:07:00.000+08:002014-04-19T12:07:07.591+08:00Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.Hello there, my 2 patient readers. I am sorry for not blogging for so long #sorrynotsorry <div>
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Since the death of my husband, I faced a lot of challenges and right now I have put myself in a path that I may or may not regret -- too soon to tell. But you gotta do what you gotta do and have faith in god. I couldn't and people shouldn't assumed that I can sort out my life in 5 days. It was difficult dealing with an entity without compassion, expecting you to go on as before when in reality you've just lost your right arm.</div>
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I have never felt so alone even though I have support from my family. I don't think it is right for me to burden them, especially my father, to take DH's place. My father is an old man, he should be resting and enjoying his retirement. My sister has her own family to care for, same goes to my in-laws. Don't get me wrong, they're ever willing to help. I just feel it's unfair to burden them with my crazy schedule.</div>
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My hope is that I will not have too much time on my hands. I wish to have some time off to sort my and Mira's life, but I hope it will not be for too long.</div>
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The other night, I read <a href="http://flowerella.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/terasing/" target="_blank">Nong's latest entry</a> and I cried every time I thought about that song!</div>
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DH can be an ass sometime, but he was also very supportive. We've know each other for 25 years and married for 17 of it. He has supported me in everything (note the 'lost your right arm' up there) and especially last year, we were a team. And he's been taken away from us. Gone too soon, when Mira and I needed him still. But alas, god has other plans for all three of us.</div>
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I haven't visited his grave for more than a month now since we've busy weekends these past weeks. Mira misses him so much that she hasn't stopped talking about him since 2 weeks ago. Since his passing, we visit his grave at least once a month especially when I see that she's starting to miss him.</div>
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She'll teringat ayah dia whenever and wherever - dekat dapur (told me a story of how she wanted to help him cook but he won't allow takut kena minyak), dalam kereta (convos they had, his driving skills), dekat Jusco, bila ternampak baju ayah dia, when ada taekwondo, etc.</div>
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I thought this weekend would be a good time but I have my period pulak. Insyaallah we shall go next weekend.</div>
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As you may not have known, I have a spanking new computer -- a Mac Mini. I have been wanting a Mac for a while now but there wasn't a need yet, until now. It became apparent how long it was when I found, whilst clearing out my email, an old article that I kept about <a href="http://www.osnews.com/story/13648" target="_blank">iMac G3</a>. I'm not sure why I kept the link, though. LOL.</div>
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Until the next post,</div>
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xoxo</div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-45106489456765990832013-12-26T04:22:00.000+08:002013-12-26T04:26:54.078+08:00GriefI have come to detest Wednesday now.<br />
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It has been 6 Wednesdays since my husband died. He passed away suddenly on the morning of 13 November. We later found out, he had a heart attack. His actual cause of death as stated in his death certificate was "Cardiac temponade with coronary artery disease'.<br />
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Who knew death could be so tiring? I think the first few days I was just running on adrenaline. I was mostly in a daze. It was all so surreal. There were so many things to do, to settle, to organise, to care for, etc. All I wanted to do was stay in bed. Lucky my in laws were there to force me (lovingly) out of it.<br />
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But still, there are some things that I just do not have the heart to do it yet.<br />
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I only took a week off from work. I shouldn't have come back to work on a Wednesday because walking into my office, facing well meaning colleagues, and then knowing that he won't be picking me up in the evening... was hard. Driving myself home after work that day, I cried all the way. A few days later, slowly things got back to normal. I can never thank my bosses and colleagues enough for their support.<br />
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I come to realise that Mira and I haven't really grieve our losses. I think we're both coming to that stage now. With him gone, the only link I feel we have are through his side of the family. Ironic, because when he was alive, we hardly participate. But now as much as I can, I will try to get both of us involve. This somewhat triggered Mira's emotions.<br />
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Since we came back from attending his nephew's wedding last weekend, she has been missing her Ayah a lot. Before writing this entry, I just held her in my arms while she cried. I let her, because earlier in the day while she was still sleeping, I cried myself silly thinking about him, too. But how do you console a grieving child? I am at a lost myself. I hope I can sail through this smoothly, unscathed for both of us. Especially her.<br />
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Whenever I'm overcome with grief, I have to come out of it quickly because between us, she had it worse. I have known him for years, been through loads of the good and bad times. She's only 9, you know. I pity her having to lose a parent at such a young age. And she was very close to arwah, especially these last 6 to 8 months.<br />
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May Allah bestow his guidance to me to help her get through this, and give her the strength in this trying time.<br />
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Amin.<br />
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xoxo<div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7735667806864237924.post-31550058262116935802013-01-21T09:06:00.001+08:002013-01-21T09:06:57.195+08:00The secret of getting ahead is getting started.Welcome to a new week of 2013! I am happy to report, the last 2 have been good to us. At the start, I was worried how Mira, who has to go back to her usual school instead of the Dyslexic Centre, will cope with this new routine and not so new environment. I mean, she missed 6 months of Primary 2, and now has to jump into Primary 3.<br />
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Will she sink or swim through it?<br />
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I took a peep into her Math textbook and got terribly worried. They're going to start learning 10,000 number series and Mira can only count confidently from 1 to 20! But my girl is a champ, she just take it as it is -- one day at a time. Perhaps it also helped that she now can read better, kinda boost up her confidence a bit.<br />
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Her teachers seems to be more willing to help this year. Perhaps, it is because of the letters I distributed at the start of school. Perhaps, they went for some motivational course over the school holidays (heh heh). But they do appear more approachable, fun and involved this year.<br />
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And then, I worried if she'll be able to fit in or find her old friends since she hasn't seen them for a while. In my opinion, her social skills is not up to par with her peers. They appear to be more mature than her, thus I worry (you worrywart, you!). Again, she surprised me by being so nonchalant about it. She wasn't worried, went to school the first day like as if she's never left. Didn't appear to be scared or nervous, she just followed the prefect who helped her find her class and wave me off.<br />
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This year, they've a new class segregation system that some what made most of her former classmates placed into different class than her. No problem mommy, she made new friends.<br />
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In the car ride after school to her <i>mengaji</i> place, we usually discuss what happens in school that day. I'll ask her what she learns, if there's any letters/memos from her teachers, if she's any homework to do for the day, whom she has her meal with during recess, etc. Recently I found out that she has no qualm eating alone if her friends are doing things she do not want to do (I worry incessantly about this).<br />
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She surprised me ever so often with her independence and happy-go-lucky attitude. I suppose, she took after her momma ;-)<br />
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xoxo<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">***
Wanna say something? Clickity-click <a href="http://larawannabe.blogspot.com" target="_blank">here</a>!</div>larawannabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01329545642677458355noreply@blogger.com0