Saturday, July 18, 2009

A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping

I think I have completed quite a feat these two weeks. I managed to finish up two assignments -- one submitted last weekend and another I handed over to my tutor at Tesco after lunch just now. This one was supposedly late. However, the deadline stated in the system was different so that's why I didn't submit it last week as well.

Both assignments were done last minute, I must say. So if I don't get good marks for it, I have no one to blame but myself. Lol.

And then, there was revising for mid term exams, which was held last Thursday afternoon and this morning (checked my Tweets yet?). I think I did pretty well for my first paper. Probably because it was a multi-choice question paper. But you still need to know your facts well because at least two of the choices of answer given was quite similar. It was rather tricky.

Today's paper however, was an essay answer format. And it was a management paper.

To tell you frankly, I don't know how well I did. I knew some of the answers but to have it written in long form, in your own handwriting to boot, was not easy. It took me 2 to 3 hours to just write a blog post for goodness sake. How to cram everything in an hour??

So, I dunno. Tak tahu lah how well I goreng my answers to at least score some markah kasihan. Lol.

I think I should just concentrate on preparing for the finals which will start sometime in August. At least, there's some reprieve there.

Anyway, I happened to watch a Melodi rerun on tv the other day. They interviewed Yassin, who had just recovered from a bipolar disorder. He said he was too stressed out, got too involved with some groups on Facebook and too engrossed in 'making the world a better place' (I'm thinking political enthusiast) that one day, he just snapped.

Which got me to thinking....

Some people can so easily succumb to a mental breakdown. Sometimes, over trivial matter. I must be made from sterner stuff, then. The challenges I faced for the past years, sometimes on a daily basis, should make some people want to kill themselves. Although there were times when I was feeling the lowest of low, I wish I could just do that. But, I am still quite sane to think positively.

I don't even have the usual psychological disorders that I 'should' be having, i.e. bulimia or depression, just to name a few examples. Am I normal?

I'm not being boastful, because who wants to become sick like that. But I do wonder -- when will I explode? What are my limits?

And I do wonder... Is it because I can take it standing that god seem tests me over and over and over again?

xoxo

No comments: