I am still with the Vampires...
I think the new title works well with what I want to write about, too.
I've been thinking about this post for like 3 weeks. I have it all in my mind but I just don't know how to put it down on "paper". I'm out of practice. Words usually come more freely than this.
Anyway, if we're friends or if you follow my Instagram (where I'm usually more active since I don't have to write much), you'd know that I am a diabetic type 2 patient. I also have prehypertension. These were detected when I went for a pre-surgery check up.
Oh, did I tell you I suffered from anaemia for 5 years due to heavy period? Yeah, I had that and went for a hysterectomy in 2018 to take out the fibroid in my womb. On top of that, I had a minor breast surgery a few months after my hysterectomy since I found a growth in my left breast. Fibroadenoma is what's its called.
I'm all patched up now. My current problem is that I can't control my blood sugar.
I tried, though. I've no problem eliminating sugared water or carbs food daily. Frankly, chocolate is my kryptonite. Whenever I don't eat any chocolates I tend to get this weird feeling at about 5 to 6PM. Like, all shaky with massive hunger pangs as if I've not eaten anything that day. At first, I thought maybe at that point of time, my blood sugar reading was low. Maybe I was hypo. I shared this concern with my doctor, but she wasn't convinced. She said I should fight it.
At first, I felt slighted, like she doesn't take my problem seriously. But truthfully, I think if I were to test my blood sugar level at that time, it would be normal. The hunger will stop once I've eaten sweet stuffs. I can be taking crackers, fruits, nuts, but the feeling won't go away until I consume chocolates or cakes or ice creams. Yes, in plurals.
I recently read a fan fiction where the writer made the hero an addict to alcohol and drugs. The way she wrote on his struggles gave me pause. I mean, the behaviour was similar. It just got me looking at it like maybe I am addicted to sugar/chocolate? Because normally, if I don't think about it much, I can get away with not consuming any artificial sugar at all.
So, the story made me think -- is my body reacting that way because it lacks sugar or is it just craving for it? And when does a craving becomes an addiction?
This is something that I have to overcome, really. It's rather ironic that I'm more concern about suffering from a heart attack but in reality my blood pressure reading is clean, my ECG is clear whereas my blood sugar reading is not that pretty.
After my last follow up visit, my doctor really wants me to get things in order. The diabetic clinic has a scale -- white for when your HbA1c reading is below 6.5, green is when your reading is below 7, orange when it's above 7, etc. She said I was heading towards the white zone in 2018, but it shot up to orange in 2019 and now back to green. She gave me a long lecture on why I need to get my HbA1c down to white and maintain it because of my age. Saya insaf, ok.
I have 3 months to do it right before my next follow up appointment.
Good bye to all that are sweet in the world... :(
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